the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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