In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
