First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
