were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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