You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
