I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
