I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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