If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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