it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize