Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont even know how to be here
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
