It was confusing and full of hummus
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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