easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
