Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
