He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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