great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
