just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
