And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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