his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
