I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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