i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
