Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
