I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
