I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
