I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
