My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
