I'm really into asian looking animals
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
