Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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