I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This is classic penis vs brain.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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