He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
