So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
