My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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