THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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