He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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