Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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