I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize