I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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