i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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