Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
