I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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