I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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