Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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