I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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