his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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