So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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