I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
