idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
