let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
