Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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