I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize