You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I sprained my soul last night
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
