I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
