I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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