I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
